Hi everyone! I just wanted to inform you that I’ve moved to a different place because I wanted to join the Chicks on Lit webring and I couldn’t get it to work with WordPress.
Here’s my new address: http://chercafe.blogspot.com/
I’m still trying (in vain) to import all of these posts onto my new blog. They might not be transferrable, but I’ll keep on trying.
I apologize for not doing this sooner, but I honestly thought I had already done this. Haha.
It’s been so long since I’ve posted that I nearly forgot that I had a blog! I know you’ll forgive me though.
Let me think about what all has changed since I last wrote…I called a few apartments. Apparently there’s a big renters’ fair this week on campus, which I need to go to. I found one that I like, but it’s pretty far from campus and a bit expensive. It’s absolutely huge and totally worth the money, but I could find a place that is closer, smaller, and cheaper. My mom keeps nagging me about getting a Sunday paper to look at different apartments for rent. I’m simply too lazy to do that.
Spring Break went really well. I went out to dinner with my uncle and then went to a St. Patrick’s Day dance with my grandparents. The dance was at the Elk’s and it was a bit of a disappointment. Mainly because it’s so…trashy now. The people they have let in have totally ruined the mystique and the prestige of the lodge. I mean, when I was growing up, you dressed up to go out there. When my mom was a kid, you had to wear a jacket and tie to get into the dining room. But the numbers have fallen over the years, so they’ve had to lower the standards for admission. I know that probably sounds snobby, but oh well.
I didn’t get as much reading done over the break as I had hoped. I’ve come to the conclusion that reading is dangerous! When I read a book that mentions another book, I immediately want to read the other book. I broke my book buying ban today. I ordered a Judy Garland CD, Cruel Intentions, and then I had to buy something else to get the free shipping, so I got The Good Earth (which was mentioned in a book I recently read). But then I ended up getting a different, better Judy Garland collection that cost more and I found out that this one book (Provence A-Z) was on sale, so I bought it too.
I’m afraid that I need to cut this post short and look at my online banking to see what all money I’ve spent. I should probably start with January and go on from there, writing down the expenses and deposits. I’m really bad about remembering to do that. One of these days it’s going to get me into a lot of trouble.
I’ll try to write soon…
Tomorrow I’m going to call some apartments and find a single one. Why? Because I’m not putting myself through the torture of having a roommate next year. Although the imbicilic roommate makes for good fodder for my blog. Entertaining people with my stories that I publish every so often doesn’t compensate for the torture I go through many hours of every day to get you those stories. I’m sure you’ll live.
Spring break is coming up and I’m so excited! I’m going to my grandparents’ house next Monday. And then I’m coming back maybe on Thursday (so I don’t have to have my mom nag at me about going to her church with her on Wednesday). It’s not that I’m against church, I’m just against that church with those people. I don’t like them and they talk badly about me, so it’s fine.
My book-ban has been going well. Except spring is making go into a Hemingway and poetry mood. While I do own a lot of Hemingway, I don’t own much poetry. I’m hoping to borrow a collection from a friend before she goes to England for two weeks. I don’t know why spring brings on the Hemingway kick, but it does. I think it might be because there’s something earthy about spring and there’s something earthy about Hemingway. But I don’t know. Freud might have a good analysis. Or maybe not. I don’t even know which Hemingway I’d want to read. I own several. A Farewell to Arms, Across the River and into the Trees, Hemingway’s Complete Short Stories, Green Hills of Africa, To Have and Have Not, The Old Man and the Sea, The Sun Also Rises, and For Whom the Bell Tolls. Anyone out there have an opinion?
I enrolled this morning for the summer and fall. I got into all of the classes I wanted to get into, which was really nice. We’ll just have to see if this semester doesn’t kill me first.
I did my yoga again this morning. It’s been a whole week. I’m proud that I’ve kept it up for that long. I almost didn’t want to this weekend because on Saturday we did inversions, which consisted of handstands and headstands and the like, and Sunday morning I was bloody tired so after I did my warm up, I thought it best to not do relaxation poses.
This morning at around 5:30 some cat just went ballistic outside my window. I was dreaming and I thought a baby was crying and then I woke up and realized it was a cat. But it was too dark outside to see anything. When I looked later, I saw no dead cats outside so I assume things worked out all right. But it was absolutely bizarre and I didn’t quite get back to sleep after that, which was unfortunate. I’m starting to feel the time change, but I’m determined to keep getting up at 6 and doing my yoga.
My life revolves around books so much. I plan out which books I must read before I can buy more books. I plan out which books I’m going to bring with me on Spring Break so that I am never caught without a book. I bring two books to campus with me–one to read before my first class starts and one to read in between classes and at lunch–each day. I have a book designated for bedtime reading. I’m not complaining because I love reading; I think it’s the greatest gift ever. But sometimes I’m a little saddened that I find events in my life reminding me of things I’ve read in books rather than the other way around. Anyone else feel like that?
I was supposed to do an update on the books I’m reading. Lolita is the book I read before my first class of the day. Arthur Schlesinger’s Journals are what I read between classes and at lunch. And Edgar Sawtelle is my bedtime book. All three are amazing. Lolita is one that I’ve started and stopped several times since I’ve bought it. I’m hoping this time that I can finish it. The Journals are a really quick read, surprisingly. They span nearly 50 years of US history. It’s really interesting to read these entries and know how things are going to happen beforehand. It has a lot of similarities to reading a novel, but I know that it’s a real person that is telling the story, instead of a character, which is why it makes the big events that happen so much more compelling. And Edgar Sawtelle has been going along. I like the way it’s told. I just haven’t been so dutiful at reading this one for an hour each day as I’d like.
That’s enough for now.
And I’m probably not going to answer you. You might ask why. And I’ll tell you why. It’s because I have better things to do, like driving or talking to people who don’t ask stupid questions, than answer.
But of course, life can’t be that simple. People whose stupid questions I ignore automatically assume that I’m not talking to them. Namely my roommate. Oh yes. You asked for it folks and now you’ve got it: more stupid roommate crap.
I sent my roommate a text when I’m almost back to the house asking her to make sure the door is unchained (so I can unload my stuff). She writes back that it’s already unchained and does that mean I’m coming back tonight? I ignore the text because I felt the stuff in parenthesis was a given for a person of moderate intelligence. (Although, I seriously considered saying, “No, I just want you to leave the door unchained all night.”) Why else would I ask her to unchain the door? Anyway, so I get back and unload my stuff and then I leave to hang out with friends. When I get back, there’s a note asking if I’m not talking to her again. So I text her back that if she’s referring to my not answering her text earlier, it was because I felt it was quite obvious that I would be coming back if I asked her to unchain the door.
Oy! She slays me! I cannot wait until I get to move away from this…nightmare.
I can’t believe I haven’t written in almost two weeks. I thought I was doing pretty well. Then again, I only wrote 3 days in a row, so it’s not that impressive. As usual, I dropped the ball on doing something I like because of school. I like some of my classes this semester. Actually, make that most of my classes this semester. But I don’t particularly enjoy my lit theory class. I love the professor, but that subject matter just doesn’t interest me one bit. I wouldn’t be taking the class if it wasn’t required for graduation, which is why most of the people in there are taking that class. Oh well, there’s only 9 more weeks left (excluding spring break) before finals week. That means, only 18 more sessions of that class.
On Tuesday, I officially added history as a second degree. And I declared French as my minor, which I didn’t know I needed to do, so it’s a good thing I checked. Still feeling really good about the decision. As usual when I get excited about something, I want to totally dump my English and focus on history. But I still need to do well in the two English classes I’m in now and the 3 I have to take next year. And it looks like that professor remembers that he said he’d do an independent study with me over the Transcendentalists, which makes me very happy.
I looked over my recent posts and I don’t guess I have much to update you all on. I am still feeling like I’m juggling and still pulling away from friends, but I think that’s OK. I’m working it and that’s what matters. Roommate still annoys me, but that’s something I’m just going to have to deal with for the next 10 weeks. Although, my mom did admit that she can see how my roommate gets on my nerves so often after meeting her, which made me feel oh-so validated. (I kept telling my mom that she just didn’t understand the situation because she’d never met the girl) I’m supposed to hang out with one of my friends tonight. She’s cooking dinner, which I’m looking forward to. Hopefully we’re both able to get some homework done (and hopefully a certain someone doesn’t try to join in [which sounds mean, but when the officers of the English club stayed later than anyone else at the party we had on Sunday, she awkwardly tried to join in and I was embarrassed when she'd open her mouth]).
I guess my biggest issue that I care about and can actually control right now is my books. I’m trying to decide which book to read right now and I have 8 that I want to read. Here’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to tell you what they are and you are going to leave a comment, voting for what I should read. I’ll like you more if you say, “I think you should read _________ because _________.” (However I won’t like you if you say I should read it because you never have and you want my opinion; that doesn’t help me, that helps you because if the book is awful, then I’m the one that’s wasted my time reading it, not you [though that doesn't mean you have to have read the book; you can say that you read a review and it sounds interesting]) I’ll provide a link for you in case you want to read any summaries or reviews. OK, so the books are:
All the President’s Men — I want to read this because it ties in with stuff we’ve been talking about in one of my classes. This book ties in with my reading challenge.
Lolita — I want to read this because I’ve started and stopped this book several times before, plus it’s short, which is good since I have classes and not a lot of time to read a behemoth book. This book ties in with my reading challenge.
Edgar Sawtelle — I want to read this because it’s a March book club read, although I can still read and comment on it later.
Sylvia Plath’s Journals — I want to read this because they’re so interesting and helpful for my own journaling and blogging because I start to think about me more. This book ties in with my reading challenge.
Arthur Schlesinger’s Journals — I want to read this because I just got it in and the back of the book piqued my interest.
The Fountainhead — I want to read this because it’s a great book, I read another book that talked about this one a lot and made me want to read it, and I love the characters. This book ties in with my reading challenge.
The Thorn Birds — I want to read this because it’s my mom’s favorite book and she bought me a copy and I’ve heard from several people that it’s really good and is an easy read. This book ties in with my reading challenge.
The Witch of Portobello — I want to read this because I just got it. And it’s short.
Now get voting. I’ll give you until Sunday the 22nd of February.
I saw the history adviser yesterday. I actually made the decision to skip my lit theory class (it was WAY to nice and warm to be discussing Communist writings) and then wandered over to the history offices, met a secretary and asked if the adviser was in. No appointment, just walked up. He was in and available, so I introduced myself and explained my situation. He explained that I could get a second major (where I just worry about the major requirements) but if I took one additional class to the major requirements, I could get a second degree. Having two degrees is a little more impressive than having one. After going back and forth with my mom on it and crunching some numbers and asking some questions, I can graduate in July 2010 with two degrees instead of May 2010 with one degree. Since I don’t enroll for a few more weeks, I’m not going to do anything official yet.
I’m feeling really good about this decision. Having two majors is always something I wished I was going to do. Back when I wanted to do International Business at a private college I didn’t go to, it was a double major because you got a business and a language degree. Pushing myself academically is what I’ve always done and never regretted. And I feel like since I got to college, I haven’t really done that. At least not in the right ways.
I need to eat a quick bite and then get back to campus for French.
I know that that’s somehow a drug reference, but I’m not meaning to use it as one. I feel like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland (the movie because I haven’t read the book). I feel like I need to hurry, hurry, hurry; no time to say hello, goodbye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!
I dropped my soc class because I was tired of the rampant atheism of the professor and the articles we were reading. All he had to say on the first day was, “God is not going to be discussed in this class; we’re going to deal with what has been proven” and then never bring up God again. But no. He seems to go out of his way to say that there is no God or to somehow slight God, which I have a problem with. If we can’t mention God and our belief systems in our papers, God should be left entirely out of the course. I was never really interested in sociology in the first place. I took intro to soc as a freshman because my mom majored in sociology. I took this professor in the fall of 2007 and it was fun. Both of my parents had him in college, which is why I decided to take this professor’s other class. But I can’t deal with it this time around. So I enrolled in a Jacksonian Era history class, which I think I’ll love. As my dad put it, I have a history of liking history classes. (He’s such a nerd sometimes [especially if your definition of sometimes means 85% of the time]) I need to return my soc book today and get my history books, preferably before class at 12:30.
All of that was a positive change for me.
I’m feeling overwhelmed in other areas of my life. It’s not really school that’s the problem. I really like my classes (or acknowledge that I have to take them eventually to graduate), especially since I added the history class. It’s everything else. My room feels suffocating to me. I think that’s because it’s a mess right now. I’m afraid I’ll find myself under an avalanche of books and papers and clothes and purses and shoes. I thought I had my room under control, but I guess not.
The house feels suffocating too. My roommate moves and I can hear it. It sounds like her TV is in my room, even though it’s not really loud. I feel like I’m never alone. And I’m annoyed because moved a cabinet I told her I wasn’t sure I wanted moved (and put everything back in the wrong place), but she didn’t vacuum and mop like she said she would. I’m so mad that I don’t even want to see her to call her on it.
And I feel like such an empty shell of a person. I feel used and empty and dry, among other things. I feel like I’m too much and I need to hold part of myself back. I feel over-valued and under-valued by people. But it doesn’t all work out in the end, because those who over-value me over-value in different areas than the other people under-value me.
Books are another problem. I feel myself wanting to take on too much. I started reading The Fountainhead, which isn’t on my contractual list, but I’m reading it as a prelude to Atlas Shrugged. And one of my book groups is reading Emma for its February group and I want to read and discuss with them, even though I can voice my opinion at any time. Another group is starting War and Peace, of which I only have to read 15 pages a day to stay with the group. Then I want to be reading Walden and the Teddy Roosevelt biography and Anna Karenina (so that I can be done with it) and a journal, either Sylvia Plath or Susan Sontag (I keep going back and forth between the two). Logically, I know this is all too much. It’s 8 books (assuming I read both journals at once), plus all of the reading and preparation I need to do for class.
I need to drop some things, but I don’t know which. Maybe I should drop The Fountainhead because it’s a dense book and I started reading it one summer and it carried over into school and I felt like what I read during school went over my head. I should drop one of the journals for sure, probably Susan Sontag’s because her is so philosophically dense that it takes me a while to get through it. And Anna Karenina should probably stay on the backburner like it did all of winter break, but I so don’t want to lose my place with it because I’m almost halfway (finally). That leaves me with 5 books, which still seems like too much. But I guess when you consider the fact that I only have small increments of time to read, it’s not so awful to switch around books, especially if I don’t carry them all with me so I can read to my mood.
I feel like I’m all over the place. I want to start a vision board (if what I’m wanting to do it called a vision board) in my room. I want to hang up a piece of poster board and glue stuff to it. “What do I want?” will be the central theme. But I don’t know what I want. And I don’t have the time to flip through many magazines to find pictures to hang up.
OK. Time to decompress and stop thinking…
